Lumberpick

Death.

Once you left I think about it more. The reality of it taking me, although always apparent, became more real.

Grandparents die after a full life. Children of live parents do not. Sisters you call to tell that you are engaged do not. Sisters who you are excited to call when you have an exciting life event, who are excited for you.. do not leave. It is not in their DNA. The propensity for screwed up cell reproduction by diseases that are not understood by people that claim they are smarter than the rest of us....

I cannot find any room in me to be mad at a disease. Seems misguided.

I found your CD. It was a beautiful gift to all of us... to record your voice.  I can't believe there's not a phone number that will have your voice on the other end. It's stupid, grief. I'm going to die and so is everyone else who might read this.

It's empty. No where to place an emotion. What do I do with emptiness? Fill it with life until I die. I wish I could tell someone to f*** off and I wish he was death.